These Nights
by ALiteraryLife
Summary: Daryl/Carol - Set at the beginning of season 5 when Carol is reunited with the group. Will deviate from the show as the story moves along. Now that Daryl has Carol back, he'll never let her go again, even if it means going against Rick and group or leaving on their own. She is his sun and without her, darkness falls. Rated for language, zombies, and Caryl love (eventually).
1. The First Night

**These Nights**

**The First Night**

"They don't get to live." Rick's words rattled around in Daryl's head, same as the others' voices. He could hear Maggie and Glenn; Could hear the words they were saying, but all he could really focus on was Rick's voice.

They'd lost so many, Daryl thought, and would have lost more, maybe even the whole group in the end, if the Termites'd had their way. The Governor had gotten away from them once and he'd come back and killed Herschel. He'd separated them from each other. More had died. If they let the Termites go without making sure they were dead, it would be the same all over again. Daryl was sure of it. They couldn't risk everyone going back and from the sounds of it, most of them wouldn't anyway, but he'd go with Rick. He couldn't let him do what had to be done alone. He started to nod when movement from the corner of his eye caught his attention.

The world around him darkened slowly and all he could see was her. Before he could make sense of his own movements, he was running to her. He caught her in his arms and lifted her off the ground, pulling her against his chest. She felt real. But how could she be after so long? He held her even closer, her hands and arms gripping him just as tightly. No matter how tightly he held her, he kept expecting her to dissolve in his arms, a figment of his imagination as she had been on more than one dark night.

Carol pulled back slowly and they looked at one another. Daryl's vision was blurred, but he could see her clearly through the emotion. She was healthy. Uninjured. Her eyes were bright and shone with all the relief he felt. He dropped his head, pushing it into her chest as she ran her fingers through his hair. They'd never clung to one another like this before, yet it was as familiar as holding his bow and drawing back to release an arrow.

Daryl stepped back only long enough for Rick and the others to greet Carol. Maggie kissed Carol's cheeks and shook her head with happy disbelief. Michonne put her hand on Carol's shoulder before pulling her into a one armed hug. Carl, who had stopped looking like a child in Daryl's eyes long ago, smiled up at Carol like a kid reunited with his best friend. Daryl couldn't stand still. His feet shuffled back and forth as he watched person after person take the time that should have been his and his alone. Carol was anxious to get moving, he could tell, but her eyes also kept darting toward him.

"Lead the way," Rick said, once everyone had their moment and Carol had been introduced to those she didn't know. She took a step forward but paused and turned toward Daryl instead.

"Got you a present," she said and swung his compound bow off her back. Daryl took it from her, making a crack about having his favorite lady back as he stroked his bow teasingly. Inside, his stomach twisted into a knot and his throat tightened. She'd come back to him and as though that weren't enough, she'd brought his bow to him, as well. He swung it onto his back and nodded his thanks. Carol nodded in return and they began walking, the two of them leading the group.

* * *

><p>"You were dead," Daryl muttered, breaking the comfortable silence. He and Carol sat on watch in the dead of night, their backs against a tree in the middle of the forest. The tree wasn't nearly wide enough for them both to lean against comfortably, yet neither of them seemed willing to leave the other's side. Instead, they leaned against each other more than the tree.<p>

"Well not really, no. Thanks for the vote of confidence." Carol nudged Daryl, causing him to put a hand out to brace himself.

"Shut up," he replied and leaned back against her again.

The minutes passed slowly before Carol hesitantly placed hand on top of Daryl's, her fingers resting between his, her palm resting just below his knuckles. Daryl didn't return the gesture, but he didn't pull away either.

"I'm glad I found you." Carol's voice, barely above a whisper, was soft and gentle with a desperate edge behind it. "There was no way I could go off without saying goodbye."

"Goodbye?" Daryl sat up suddenly, looking down at the woman leaning against his side. "What the hell you talkin' about?"

Carol stayed quiet for a moment until Daryl ducked his head, forcing her eyes to meet his.

"Nothing's changed. I still have to go. Tyreese… He doesn't know yet, but he will soon and then I'll be on the road again. At least I was able to do something first. I'm not looking for redemption; What I did wasn't wrong. But I lied and hid it. I knew Rick would make me leave if he knew, no matter what my reasons, and that hasn't changed."

"Bullshit it hasn't changed!" Daryl's voice raised well above a whisper and he was on his feet instantly, his feet shuffling and his fists balled. "You just saved all our asses! We would have been bled out like stuck pigs and cut down to size by the end of the day if you hadn't shown up when you did!"

Carol winced at the thought of Daryl bloodless and lifeless.

"I'm not just gonna let you go off on your own again! Rick won't either! We're…. We're a family, dammit!"

Carol smiled and placed her hands on either side of Daryl's face, stilling him and at the same time forcing him to meet her eyes.

"Nothing's going to change that. We'll always be family. All of us. But so were the others. I killed two of our own and right now, that's all Tyreese is going to be able to see. Hell, I bet he won't be the only one."

"It ain't right," Daryl said shaking his head, but not pulling out of Carol's hands. "They make you go and they'll have to make me go too. I can't… I can't be without you again. I won't make it."

Carol was in Daryl's arms before she could respond. He crushed her against him, one of his hands gripping her coat and the other holding her head against his chest. She breathed him in; he smelled stale and tart. His musk filled her nostrils and she tried to commit the smell to memory.

* * *

><p>"Mornin'," Daryl's voice pulled Carol out of a fitful rest. Her body ached and her muscles screamed, but the sound of his voice relaxed her instantly. "Y'alright?"<p>

Carol opened her eyes at his question, but didn't make to answering it. Instead, she just stared up at him. Her head was laying in his lap and his arm was draped across her stomach. The weight of it made her smile and she glanced down before moving to sit up. For just a moment, Daryl held her down as though he wanted her there. His arm lifted and she sat up, stretching before running a hand through her hair.

"It's grown," Daryl commented, using his knife to pick muck out from under his nails.

"Hair does that, Daryl."

"Now you don't say? Smart ass. I was trying to compliment you, ya hard head."

"That's a compliment?" Carol couldn't hold back the smirk that spread across her lips as she stood and looked down at him. "I think they call that an observation, not a compliment."

Daryl groaned loudly and hopped to his feet, glaring at her.

"Alright, you wanna get all technical and shit? I meant it has grown and I like it. Is that better for you and your damn technicalities?"

Daryl shoved his knife back into its sheath and grabbed his bow, slinging it over his shoulder before stomping past Carol.

"Damn woman," he muttered when he was about ten feet away from her. He could still hear Carol behind him laughing softly. She caught up with him quickly and fell into step beside him.

"Thank you," she said after several minutes. Daryl grunted in return and kept walking, though he closed some of the distance between them.

Most of the camp was already awake. Daryl and Carol had taken watch just inside the tree line as had Michonne and Carl on the other side of the camp. Carol had made it almost the entire night before drifting off with her head in Daryl's lap. He hadn't exactly invited her to lay on him, but he hadn't discouraged it either. He wanted her close. Needed that constant contact with her. Even as they walked, he felt himself brush against her on purpose, as though trying to reassure himself she was real. It had been nearly daybreak when Carol had finally settled into a restless sleep.

Daryl hadn't liked watching her sleep, even though he liked studying her face while she did. It was the way she groaned and grimaced. More than once, he'd given her a little shake to bring her out of whatever she was in and wiped the sweat off her forehead.

How did Rick or anyone else think he'd let her go again? He hadn't protected Beth, but he'd be damned if he'd let anything happen to Carol. She'd saved his life in every way imaginable and he was going to protect hers at all cost.

"Daryl," Rick's voice was less gruff than usual, but had an edge to it, nonetheless. He walked up and Daryl felt Carol step away slightly, putting distance between them. He wasn't sure if it was because she didn't want people thinking something had happened between them (and he wasn't sure if the thought bothered him or not) or if it was because she was preparing for Rick to tell her to leave. Daryl stood up a bit taller and dug his feet into the earth, ready for a fight if it came to it.

"We can't stay here." Rick glanced back at the tree line behind Daryl. "We got lucky last night, but that's not to say the Walkers won't ascend soon. Terminus should have burnt out by now. They may already be on the move again."

Daryl nodded, waiting for Rick to bring Daryl's world crashing down. He didn't want to leave the group. He didn't want to live Rick. _Brother_, Rick had called him, and Daryl had come to believe it.

"Yeah, and?" Daryl heard the attitude in his voice, but didn't rephrase his question. Rick glanced from Daryl to Carol and then back again. Daryl felt Carol slap his leg and he shifted, shuffling his feet.

"And I think we should figure out a plan. Now, Glenn and the others are on board with this DC plan, but that's a long way to go and a lot of Walkers on a lot of roads. I got Judith to think about and without shelter and something to drown out the sounds of a baby, we could just be asking for trouble."

Daryl kept waiting.

Rick kept staring at him.

Finally, Carol groaned and stepped forward.

"You need to go on a run. Take Michonne and that girl Glenn saved. Daryl and I will go back to Terminus. I know my way around the fences and parts of the compound and I'm sure their vehicles work. They may not take you far and you may have to hunt down some gas before you really get moving, but it's a start."

Rick nodded and looked at Daryl waiting for an agreement. Daryl stared at him, disbelief etched upon his face.

"You're fucking kidding! You ain't gonna say anything? You just gonna let her do your dirty work and then go walkin' off by her damn self? We'll get you your damn wheels and then I'm taking Carol and finding Beth. I'll get her back to her sister and then we'll move on. I'm not letting her go again, Rick."

Realization spread across Rick's face and Carol shifted her weight onto her good leg. It wasn't that she had a bad leg, but it seemed her legs liked to trade off on which would give her trouble and which would play nice. Rick looked over at Carol and then back at the rest of the group, who were now all on their feet and starting to move forward as though beckoned by Daryl's angry voice.

"Rick," Carol whispered, but he stopped her.

"You saved us. All of us. You saved my little girl." Rick turned toward Daryl. "No need to fight me, brother. Sometimes what we want to do and what we need to do are two different things. Carol does what she needs to do and I think we need more of that right now. I'll deal with it."

Rick tilted his head slightly in Tyreese's direction, the motion only noticeable by Carol and Daryl.

"Alright, then," Daryl said and took Carol's hand, pulling her past Rick. "Got a run to get ready for."


	2. The Second Night

**The Second Night**

Just to the North, a herd of Walkers was moving toward Daryl and Carol. Daryl couldn't say how many, but he could hear their feet dragging on the asphalt, stumbling over whatever was strewn in their way. He and Carol stood back-to-back, bow and knife raised, guns at the ready if they got overwhelmed. They were just south of the main road leading to Terminus. They'd left the group soon after their discussion with Rick and gotten to Terminus with enough time to scope out the place and watch for any activities before sundown. They'd lain face down in the dirt and weeds just outside Terminus; the same area from where Carol had first spotted trouble. The afternoon had passed mostly in silence, their eyes taking in every square foot of the compound. Walkers roamed here and there, mostly drawn by the sound of ember-eaten beams crashing to the ground or pieces of sheet metal flying off disintegrating rooftops.

There had only been some sign of life once during their stake out. A figure, clad in black, walking with a considerable limp on the left side, moved quickly from one building to another, never to re-emerge. Either they'd gone out a way that wasn't visible from Daryl and Carol's vantage point, or they were still inside. Maybe there were more people alive inside the building. Eventually, they'd agreed that they would come back at sunrise the next morning and do a perimeter check before moving into the compound.

Standing back-to-back, listening to roaming Geeks, Daryl thought back to that afternoon. The long, hot hours never fazed Carol. Not once did she dip her head, giving him the sole responsibility of spotting activity. She maintained vigilance until they agreed it was time to find safe ground for the night. Daryl, on the other hand, found himself constantly lifting his eyes from the scene below them to Carol's hand resting on her gun or the fence. That hand had been on his own hand just a few hours earlier. The warmth of her skin had chilled him to his very core. She seemed to need him as badly as he needed her, yet he didn't have faith in himself anymore. Couldn't save Herschel, couldn't save Beth… Merle… But maybe Carol didn't need saving like they did; not anymore.

_Damn_, Daryl had thought, forcing his eyes back to the compound. _Woman got you all turned around, Dixon. Don't know your ass from your head._ _Daydreamin' about women that don't care to be daydreamed about. _

When the Walkers passed by their small campsite hidden within the trees, the pair went back to rigging an alert system using the rope and empty cans Carol had packed.

"You never know," she'd said. It hadn't been a bad idea. Daryl was dead on his feet and knew he'd need to actually sleep. They stood pressed together for another couple minutes, just to be safe, and then lowered their weapons and walked back to the clearing a few feet away. Carol sat down and pulled the smaller of her two packs into her lap. Daryl watched her for a moment before spreading out his gear a few feet away from her. They each had a roll to rest on and Daryl bundled up his pack, shoving it under his head.

With is leg drawn up, bent at the knee, he began mentally unpacking his larger pack. He took inventory of what he knew was inside there, reminding himself of how each item could be used as defense, protection, or tending to injuries.

Carol stopped rummaging and Daryl couldn't help but open one eye and turn his head toward her. Just before she clicked off the small camp light they'd been using to set up, Daryl caught sight of…

"Is that fuckin' _yarn_?"

"Hmm," Carol gave in means of a response.

"Whatcha gonna do? Knit a sweater in the dark?"

"Mmm," Carol responded again, prompting Daryl to sit up.

"You serious?"

"Yes, I'm going to knit a sweater in the dark. Only, not a sweater, but a scarf. Or several scarfs, depending on how well my muscle memory still works."

Daryl stared into the dark, the light of the moon and stars mostly shielded by the surrounding trees. He could make out Carol's shadow, saw her arms moving, but couldn't see what she was doing. She was hunched over, her head drawn down over the lap. What little light there was reflected off the knife resting on her leg and the gun strapped across her chest. Daryl considered what to say next and then decided not to say anything and just laid back. Woman acted like Chuck Norris and looked like a freaking housewife.

"Daryl," Carol's voice pulled him out of his thoughts, her voice just loud enough to carry to him. "When I left, when Rick sent me away, I stayed close. I guess I just couldn't leave you and the girls. I know Rick said you all would take care of them, but… Well, anyway, I heard everything happening and it feels like that first gunshot that rang out was something like a switch being flipped for me. There used to be good days. Days of knitting and gardening with Rick. Days of cooking, if you want to call it that, and bathing in the lake."

Daryl's second eye opened.

"But that first gunshot put an end to those good days for a long time. And the end of the good days has meant the end to the good in me. Maybe I'm damned. I'm not looking for absolution. But maybe knitting you a scarf and Judith a hat, I can pretend I'm not as soulless as the Walkers we cut down."

"Don't want no scarf."

Carol stopped moving, Daryl could see her stillness and hear the silence, and then she giggled. The sound tugged at Daryl's lips.

"Well you're damn well going to wear it anyway. Hide it with a bandana if you want, but you will wear it."

Daryl laid on the ground for a moment longer before sitting up.

"You ain't soulless."

"I killed that girl, Daryl. Took her out and shot her in the back of the head. She wasn't dead or dying like David and Karen. She was warped, but she was still a child. Now she's nothing and I'm not a mother or a wife or a friend; I'm just the weapon."

Her hands started moving again and Daryl watched the dark shadows of them. The Carol who had once given him hope when there was no hope left in life, had lost sight of herself. All she could see was the death and destruction, the horror of their world and her role in it. For a moment, just a small moment, Daryl allowed her to stay that way so at least he could say they were the same once, even if just for a minute.

"Yeah, you're right. Ain't nothin' to ya now but killin' and fightin'. Ain't got a caring bone left in ya. Just makin' scarves to strangle me with and hats to suffocate babies with. Runnin' around riskin' your life for a group you expect to throw you out. Comin' in and goin' all Dixon on the Termites just to save the people who abandoned you and tossed you aside. Hell, we all know you just hauled Judith around even though she's a cryin', hollerin', shit machine because you were plannin' to ransom her."

Carol was staring at him in the darkness now. He felt her eyes on his face, though he couldn't hold her gaze; he stared at the place he thought her eyes must be.

Daryl took a breath, finished making his point, and went another route.

"You don't like yourself no more? Fine, you don't gotta. You got a group full of people who call you family and love you even if you can't love yourself. It ain't easy being the one to pull the trigger all the time; ain't easy being the one to make the decisions and do what has to be done. You still got a conscience. You still feel guilt and that makes you the least soulless person I know. Fuckin' knittin' beanies and thinkin' you're soulless. Soulless people don't make beanies and scarves; they sharpen knives and relive their kills because they get off on it."

"I can still be useful even if I am a monster."

"Y'ain't no fuckin' monster!" Daryl was on his feet, moving toward her so he could see her better. He grabbed her by her arms and hauled her up on her feet, her yarn and knife falling to the ground below.

Without knowing what words he'd say next or why he'd hauled her up off the ground, Daryl found his hands on the sides of her face, forcing her eyes to meet his.

"Ain't gonna let you think that way no more. You're practical and you face reality; you do what needs to be done when others are too pussy-footed to do it. You're damn right it's ugly and god awful, but that don't mean you're ugly and soulless. You couldn't be ugly or soulless if you tried."

Carol stared at Daryl, tears brimming her eyes. Slowly, Daryl saw the white of her teeth as her lips spread.

"You callin' me pretty, Daryl Dixon?"

Daryl groaned and let go of her face, taking a step back as he did.

"Shut up," he said and turned, damn near stomping away from her until he felt her hand on his shoulder. He turned and could see Carol staring up at him. She didn't say anything, but moved her hand down his shoulder along his arm slowly. It made his skin tingle even though she was touching his shirt and not his skin. He was about to pull away when he felt her slip her arm under his as she stepped into his arms and put her head on his chest. Daryl let his arm come around her the way that felt natural to him and his other hand cupped the back of her head.

* * *

><p>Carol watched Daryl sleep as sunshine began to invade the line of trees that had cloaked them from the rest of the world all night. His hair was dirty, oily, unkempt, and too long. It hung down in the front, making it harder for her to see his eyes, even if they were closed. She swept a piece of hair away from his eyes before leaning forward to kiss his forehead. Her movements were slow, deliberate. The last thing she wanted was for him to startle awake and send his machete through her rib cage. He'd never forgive himself. Still, she couldn't help herself.<p>

"Can't a guy sleep without gettin' molested around here?" his voice was gruff and sleep riddled, making Carol smile against his forehead.

"Guess not," she said simply and stood up. "We need to get moving. Sun'll be all the way up soon and I'd like to get to the other side of the compound before then."

Daryl groaned and sat up. The ache in his lower back was always there in the mornings until he got up and stretched it out. While stretching from where he sat in the dirt, he stole a glance at Carol. She had dark circles under her eyes, but she didn't look tired. If anything, she looked a lot less troubled and more youthful than she had the day before.

"Y'alright?" He asked, taking a swig of water from the canteen hooked onto his pack.

Carol looked at him and smiled. "Alright," she said.

Daryl rose to his feet, stretched once, and then swung his pack onto his back while Carol rolled up his bedroll. He nodded his thanks as she secured it to him and then they were off, bow and knife at the ready.

They walked in silence. Daryl followed Carol around the perimeter of the fence even though they were going to an area she hadn't explored when she'd found the compound (and her family) two days earlier. Their steps fell at the same time, their eyes scanning the area. The sun had chased off the darkness, yet the light around them was still dim and Carol found herself squinting to make out what lie ahead of them.

She stopped, holding out her left hand. Daryl followed her line of sight and saw the Walker she had spotted. It weaved its way in and out of the trees about 20 yards ahead of them. Carol started to move toward it, but Daryl put his hand on her shoulder and moved around her, bow trained on the Walker. Once he'd pulled his arrow from the Walker's head and flung the congealed blood from it, he rejoined Carol and they resumed their silent trek.

They reached the North side of the compound just as the dim light around them became bright and unforgiving.

Together they laid, again on their stomachs, and watched for movement below them. The cloaked figure they'd seen the day before was nowhere in sight and the compound was completely silent.

"Like death," Carol said aloud. Daryl glanced at her but said nothing. Instead, they rose at the same time and moved toward the break in the fence not far from them.

"Truck around the side over there," Daryl pointed to the East and Carol nodded. "Van around back over there." She pointed Southwest and Daryl followed her gaze.

"Alright?" Daryl's eyes were fixed on her and she saw hesitancy in them. She pulled her gun from her ankle holster, her rifle strapped to her back and her knife in her other hand.

"Alright," she said and they moved from one another, each moving toward their own targets.

Carol's footsteps were light and quick as she moved between buildings and bodies. Despite her temptation to glance back in Daryl's direction, she kept her eyes forward and her ears alert. On the ground 50 feet ahead of her, a Walker rolled its head toward her, a growl rising instantly. Its legs and right arm were completely burnt off, yet it began trying to crawl toward her. As she ran past it, Carol drove her knife into its skull, eyes darting around for more.

When she reached the van, she pulled the unlocked driver's door open and hopped in. Checking all the usual suspects for keys, she came up empty and groaned silently before climbing out of the van. She knelt down beside the door, leaning down under the steering wheel. She couldn't help but smile knowing there was a time she would have waited for Daryl to hot wire it.

"How times change," she whispered and used her knife to strip each end of the wires in her hand. Expecting a Walker or Termite to grab her leg at any moment, Carol sparked the wires hurriedly, feeling an urgency that unsettled her. The van roared to life and then settled into a purr. Carol jumped to her feet, her gun held aloft, and looked around.

Nothing.

Feeling even more uneasy, she tossed her pack onto the backseat and then got in, closing the door behind her. Damn near a full tank of gas, she saw. Termites were prepared. She paused for a moment and glanced toward the road where she and Daryl were supposed to meet. She still didn't hear the rumble of his truck. Unsure of herself, unsure of the world around her, but sure of the guns and ammo inside the building opposite her, Carol threw the van into Drive.

She parked in front of the building she'd found Daryl's bow in and looked to her right at the building they'd seen the cloaked figure go into. If there was someone in there, she had no doubt they'd heard the van. Yet there was no movement, no gunfire, no Walkers.

Without another thought, she threw the door open, leaving the engine idling, and ran into the building, weapons ready. Immediately, the unlit shadows in the corners of the building began moving, lurching toward her. She drove her knife into skull after skull, mentally counting each time she made contact. Some of the Walkers' skulls resisted more than others. She could tell which ones had been living in the past week and which ones had not.

Once she'd cleared the room, only once feeling a little like she'd made a bad decision, she ran to the piles of guns, armor, knives, and ammo. Even found a few grenades and gas canisters. Having only her smaller pack strapped to her, she filled it with as much ammo and small weaponry as she could, always looking over her shoulder, and then swung gun after gun onto her back. When she'd packed all she could into her bag, onto her back, and in her pockets and arms, she moved toward the door. Only the sight of a first aid kit stopped her. It was fully loaded. A three tiered case with level after level of life saving necessities.

"Damn," she said and grabbed its handle with her knife hand. It was heavy and awkward, but she didn't have far to go. With only her gun raised, she stepped out of the building and into the bright light. Movement to her right caught her attention, but she had enough time to get to the van without having to worry. Throwing the hatch open, she loaded the first aid kit and quickly emptied her pockets and took the extra guns off her back. As she stepped back to pull the hatch down, a snarl sounded by her ear. She only just had enough time to step back and raise her gun before it fell forward, an arrow sticking out of its head.

"Let's go!" Daryl hissed and nodded toward the road. He'd already parked his truck there and she thought she saw a trailer of some sort hooked to the back of it. She nodded and ran for the door of the van as he turned and ran for his truck.

* * *

><p>"What were you thinkin'?" Daryl was stomping toward Carol, yelling and waving his arms about before she was even out of the van. Rick jogged forward from the group, putting his hand on Daryl's shoulder, which Daryl quickly shrugged off.<p>

"You so stuck on bein' useful you gotta see just how badass you can be before a Geek chomps down on your neck?!"

Carol sighed and rolled her eyes, which only made Daryl stop dead in his tracks, just inches from her face.

"You saw someone, same as I did. You should have waited for me. We could have gone back in together. Why the hell you gotta be so hard headed?"

With his finger in her face, Daryl leaned close, his elbow pressed against her chest.

"You don't get to be selfish anymore. You gonna try to say you weren't and you were just trying to help the group. Yeah, yeah, I've heard it all before. But you know what you wasn't doin'? You wasn't thinkin' about me. Nah, you didn't even consider me when you decided to play hero for no good goddamn reason. You wanna leave me again? You so quick to –"

"Daryl, I-"

"No!" Daryl cut her off before she could try to defend herself. "You don't get to be the hero no more. You did it in a big way and now I need you safe. Maybe now you need to be the one pussy-footing around. I ain't gonna lose you again, ya understand?"

Carol stared up at Daryl, her eyes locked on his.

"Alright."

Daryl moved his hand suddenly, hooking his fingers around her neck and then her face was crushed against his shoulder. She moved her arms around him and nodded against him until she felt his shoulders relax and his breathing begin to level out.

"Ain't gonna lose you again," he said one last time before releasing her and stomping off back to the truck.


	3. The Third Night

**AN: Please keep in mind that my story does deviate from the canon story line of the show. It goes without saying that I'm using 5x01 as a jumping off point and going in my own direction, but for the sake of making things a little different and more interesting, certain details from past episodes may also change. **

**The Third Night**

Rick hopped up on the tailgate of the truck, settling in beside Daryl. He followed Daryl's gaze and watched Carol and Maggie huddled together next to the small campfire where they were boiling water from a nearby lake. Daryl knew Carol was telling Maggie about Mika and Lizzie. Carol finished talking and glanced up at Maggie while poking at the fire, letting the air stir the flames. Maggie sat frozen, staring at Carol. Finally, she shook her head and put her arm around Carol, resting her head on her shoulder. Carol's whole demeanor relaxed instantly and Daryl let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

"Talked to Tyreese while you were gone," Rick said, his eyes still on Maggie and Carol.

"That why he ain't around?"

"Yeah. It brought up some bad stuff for him. Stuff he'd been working hard to ignore. Sasha took him for a drive. Went to the highway to search the abandoned cars along the way."

Daryl nodded and watched Carol. She laughed at something Maggie said and then looked up at Daryl. Her smile faltered for a moment and then changed completely. That was the look she reserved just for him; something in her eyes responded to the sight of him watching her. Daryl had missed that look.

"I told him I couldn't send her off again. Didn't even have to say more. Didn't have to tell him you'd leave too. He'd known the second I told him what she'd done. He knew I'd made up my mind."

Daryl grunted his response and tore his eyes away from Carol's. Silence lingered in the air between them for several minutes while Daryl used his knife to cut stray threads off his shirt. He'd need to pick up some new clothes on the next run. Shirt was startin' to look a little ragged; and that was by his standards.

"I have to ask," Rick started and Daryl already knew where the conversation was going.

"Nothin' to ask 'cause there ain't nothin' to tell."

"One of us is misguided and I'm pretty sure it's not me. This time."

Daryl gave Rick a warning look and then went back to cutting threads.

"Ain't like that," Daryl said finally.

"Then what is it? 'Cause from where I'm standing, you're both better together. Stronger; less haunted. There's not a lot left to get hope from anymore, but seeing you two in the woods that day, it was like seeing two halves coming back together to form a whole."

Daryl stopped moving and stared down at the knife in his hand. He felt whole. Carol didn't treat him like he was invisible, but she also didn't do some stupid hero worship. It felt like respect to him; respect and real friendship. Maybe the only real friendship he'd ever had aside from Rick. He knew deep down the only way he'd been able to keep going after they'd all been separated was because he was responsible for Beth. Thinking Carol was dead, that she'd never tease him or shoot with him again… There wasn't much left in life to look forward to. He'd kept going because he wanted to get Beth back to her sister.

"We're gonna be leaving. Ain't talked about it yet, but I know she knows and is just waiting for me. Gotta go find Beth. Can't leave her out there not knowin' if she's alive or dead and who took her. She'd never have left me like that. She was taken and that can't mean anything good. I gotta find her. Can't be like Sophia. Or worse, like them Termites."

"The council met when you left for your run. We knew you'd want to go after her. Abraham doesn't want to wait around. They want to keep moving toward DC, but he said he'd give us four days and then they're going with or without us. Glenn and Maggie are going with you. The rest will stay here to protect the group and keep Eugene alive."

"Hope that means you're stayin' here with lil' Asskicker. Girl needs her real father, not a bunch of men takin' turns playin' daddy."

Rick laughed and glanced over to where Carl sat bouncing Judith in his lap. He could hear her laughter, but it hadn't gotten loud enough to worry him yet.

"I'm staying. Need you to come back whole, brother. Can't do this on my own."

Daryl looked up at Rick. He was the complete opposite of what Merle had been their entire life. Right up until the end. At the end, Merle had taken a page right out of Officer Friendly's book and gone all noble on Daryl.

"Ain't on your own no more, brother."

* * *

><p>"Do you realize how absurd this is?" Carol yelled into Daryl's ear as she clung to his back like they were guaranteed to crash any minute. The roar of Daryl's newly acquired motorcycle calmed his nerves, but seemed to set hers on edge. She hadn't been thrilled when she'd seen the bike in the trailer that was hooked up to the truck he'd brought back from Terminus.<p>

"Ain't nothin' absurd about it. You need to learn so I'm teachin' ya!"

"Riding a motorcycle in the middle of an apocalypse is the absurd part! You're calling them all to us!"

Daryl chuckled, the wind cutting into his cheeks. It was nearly dusk and the cool air was starting to settle in. It wasn't the first time someone had told him riding a motorcycle was stupid. He knew it wasn't always the best way to get around. He couldn't sneak up on a herd or pass by unnoticed, but he could get through areas cars couldn't and ridin' a motorcycle didn't exactly invite company. Most of the time, he liked riding by himself.

Most of the time.

"Just shut up and pay attention!" Daryl hollered back at Carol, keeping his eyes on the road ahead of them. There was a curve in the road coming up. "Lean with me. Feel the way my body shifts to anticipate changes in the road. You gotta know how to balance or you ain't gonna get very far."

He felt Carol nod against his shoulder and when the time came, she leaned with him; not too far, thankfully, but hitting just the right angle for the sharpness in the road.

They rode for another couple miles. They went further than Daryl intended to ride, but he got lost in his own thoughts. Carol's hands were wrapped around his waist, hands holding onto his vest. Again, his mind wandered back to their first night together after the reunion. He remembered the way her fingers rested between his. There was nothing soft about her skin. He had felt the callouses and rough, dry skin. But her fingers were small and delicate; it reminded him she was more fragile than she looked to be. She wasn't glass anymore, but she wasn't steel either. Nothing about her was the same as it was when he first met her. Well, except the way she looked at him. She'd always had a certain look in her eye reserved only for him. Beyond that, she'd gotten tough. Hell, she'd turned into a Dixon right before his eyes. She didn't take shit off no one, himself included, and she'd learned to rely on herself to stay alive.

Daryl brought the bike to a stop and got off, holding the bike with one hand.

"Your turn, darlin'. Gotta learn to do it on your own."

"When did you start calling me darlin'?" Carol raised an eyebrow at him, a pleased smirk on her face. "Not complaining, mind you. And I learned how to do it on my own a long time ago, I'll have you know."

Daryl groaned and folded his arms over his chest.

"You wanna do this or not? Ain't got all day."

"Well, what are you offering?" Carol wiggled her eyebrows at him in what he assumed was supposed to be teasingly seductive. It was just silly.

"Woman, I'm takin' my hand off this bike and you're gonna be on your own. You seen me do it, you've gone ridin' with me. You don't need me to tell you what to do or hold your hand no more."

Instantly, Daryl was reminded of Carol's hand on his. It was such a small touch; they'd had more contact over the past couple days in their random hugs (if that's what they were – he wasn't sure they qualified). But there was something intimate about it and that was what kept bringing his mind back to it.

"Fine," she said and moved up on the seat so she was straddling the bike correctly. She ran her fingers over the handlebars and then began getting to know the controls. The bike lurched a few times, but she stayed on and stayed in control. Daryl took a step back so he wouldn't be tempted to interfere.

After one fall and one almost fall, Carol found her groove.

"See! Ain't nothin' to it! You're a natural."

Carol seemed pleased with herself, but Daryl felt her relief when he told her it was time to head back. Only, when she started to make room for him to sit in front of her, Daryl climbed on behind her, putting hands on her hips.

"You know the way back," he said. Carol started to say something but instead only hissed a curse word before getting them moving.

It wasn't a pleasant ride back, but Daryl found himself enjoying it anyway. He'd never willingly ridden passenger on a bike before. There was a time he wouldn't even consider riding behind a woman, let alone rolling up in public that way. None of that seemed to matter though. Daryl never moved his hands from Carol's hips, though he did move his thumbs over the patch of skin between her shirt and pants a few times. Each time, he felt Carol tense up and he stopped for fear of her crashing the bike. He didn't know why he was doing it anyway. Maybe it was just the fact that for once, he got to be the one to tease her.

* * *

><p>Carol knew her face was still red when they made it back to camp. She got off the motorcycle, leaving Daryl straddling it, and immediately walked away, heading straight into the privacy of the forest.<p>

"Shit," she whispered and sat down, leaning against a tree. Her thighs and ass ached from the vibration of the bike and being in the same position for so long. She ran her hand along the side of her thigh, rubbing out some of the ache. Her palm grazed the area Daryl's thumb had been stroking and she felt her face flush all over again. It wasn't like she'd never been touched there before. Hell, she'd been touched there and everywhere else by Ed and most of the time it wasn't that gentle. But she'd never been touched like that by Daryl before.

She let her head fall forward and closed her eyes, blocking out what little light the moon and stars reflected into the forest.

It wasn't a game, she knew. Neither of them was teasing the other for the sake of teasing. She wasn't even sure that's what Daryl had been doing or if he just enjoyed the feel of her skin and wasn't thinking about what his touch was doing to her. She'd touched him out of need; the need to feel him living after so long of not knowing if he –

Footsteps behind her had her on her feet instantly. It wasn't coming from the campsite where she'd just come from. Quickly and with a deftness that still surprised her sometime, Carol pulled her bowie knife from its sheath on her hip and held it aloft.

"Carol?"

Tyreese's voice both relaxed her and set her on edge in a whole other way.

"Ty," she said simply and lowered her knife, though she didn't put it away.

"Heard the bike," he said and Carol mentally ticked off a point in the "Carol" column in her head. _Told him it was stupid; riding around on something that loud. _

"Yeah," she said, but offered no more in the way of a response. Silence hung between them as Tyreese continued moving toward her. She could see his form, make him out almost completely despite the lack of light. She just couldn't see his eyes.

"I already knew, ya know. Knew it when you took down Lizzie. Just didn't want to believe it. Hoped I was wrong. You don't like the things you do, but you do them because you're looking out for someone else. With Lizzie it was Judith and the two of us. The whole group if we were ever back together again. With David… Karen… You thought by killing them, you'd keep them from killing us."

Carol nodded even though she knew he couldn't see her.

"It wasn't right though. You have to know that. Wasn't right to do what you did. You didn't know if there'd be medicine in time. And you didn't have to burn them. Could have left something of them to be buried."

Tyreese's voice was even, though it grew louder the longer he spoke. Carol felt herself take a step away.

"You're right. I didn't know if medicine would make it in time. What I did know was they didn't have long and then they'd turn. Inside our walls. Where our children slept. Where each one of us had built up some feeling of safety. You know, we weren't even sleeping with our cells closed. We didn't want to feel like we were in a prison, so we left the doors open. The one thing that could have kept them from getting to us if they turned. Maybe that would have helped my decision… Probably not."

Tyreese was in front of her suddenly.

"It wasn't right. You made that decision by yourself. You knew if you brought it to anyone else we'd shut you down and call you cruel. That's why you snuck around and hid what you done. You feel that guilt, I know you do, and you should. How many people you killed? How many live people?"

"Too many to count," Carol said, keeping the emotion out of her voice. Inside, she was seeing each of those kill shots all over again.

"Where's your humanity?" Tyreese took her by the arms. He wasn't raging, not yet, but Carol could feel the calm before the storm. It was the same one she used to feel with Ed.

Carol opened her mouth to respond, but flew backwards before she could utter a syllable. Daryl held his arm out in front of her, his knife raised to Tyreese's throat.

"Now's the time I give you two choices. I can slit your throat and let you bleed out, maybe even let you turn, or you can walk away. Only, if you walk away, you ain't never gonna talk to her again. Ain't never gonna touch her again. Ain't never gonna look at her. Talkin' about humanity and shit. Where's yours? Tormentin' someone who's already tormented. You'd know that if you actually knew her. Wouldn't be runnin' your mouth if you had any clue what she feels. You lost someone? Well, alright. So did she. We both did. She lost her little girl. You know what it's like to see someone you love turned Geek? No, you don't, because she kept you from feelin' that pain. You don't know what it's like to look into their dead eyes and know you gotta put them down. You outta be thankin' her, for fuck's sake!"

Tyreese shifted, his body lurching slightly, but before he could say anything, Daryl pressed the knife a little harder into his throat.

"Two choices. Don't make the wrong one."

Daryl felt Carol's hand on his back. She didn't say anything, but he knew what she was trying to tell him. He stepped back, drawing his knife away from Tyreese's throat. After a minute, Tyreese passed both of them, heading toward the campsite.

"Ain't safe here. We leave tomorrow. Y'alright?"

Daryl moved in front of Carol, his face close to hers so he could see in the dark. She nodded and put her knife away.

"I'm fine. Thank you."

Daryl grunted and Carol heard him stow his knife. She started to turn, moving away from him, when she felt his hand on her hip. Immediately, his thumb stroked up under her shirt, moving over the patch of skin he'd been touching before.

Carol froze.

His hand moved from her side slowly around to her back until his palm was spread out on the small of her back. He pulled her forward so her body was pressed against his. Carol raised her hands to his arms, holding onto him for dear life.

They stood pressed together in the dark, staring at one another until Glenn called out for them and emerged from the trees.

"You guys okay? Tyreese…"

"Fine," Carol said, and stepped away from Daryl, his hand falling back to his side.

"Yeah," he said and they walked together back to camp.


	4. The Fourth Night

**The Fourth Night**

Something wasn't right with Daryl and Carol. Glenn couldn't tell what it was, but he could feel it as clearly as he could feel Maggie's back pressed against his chest as she dozed in his arms. He and Maggie were on watch while Daryl and Carol took the night off. They hadn't had a night where they could both just sleep since they'd left Terminus. Glenn wasn't sure if either of them had gotten a full night's sleep before Terminus either. Neither of them had opposed when Maggie and Glenn had offered to take watch on their first night out, but instead of staying together like Glenn expected them to, they each laid their bed rolls out opposite one another. With a good 20 or more feet between them, they weren't exactly sharing words or body warmth.

The night before, he'd found them in the woods after Tyreese had come out looking pissed off and possibly scared. He'd grunted something about Daryl and then stormed past the entire group. When Glenn went investigating, Daryl and Carol had said little and made even less eye contact the rest of the night.

It was nearing 3am according to Glenn's watch and he was wide awake. Terminus had been such a close call for him. For all of them really, but he knew that had Carol waited just an extra 30 seconds to act, he would have been bled out and left to rot like the other four men he'd watched die. It wasn't the first time he'd had a close call and he knew it wouldn't be the last. Eventually, one of those close calls would end it all. He'd come to accept that knowledge, even if he didn't like it. It made him appreciate the world a lot more even in its fucked up state.

He listened to the crickets chirping outside the barn they'd taken shelter in. He liked those crickets. In his experience, they'd stop chirping if something came around. It was the first clue that Walkers could be near. He also liked them because they were so insignificant, yet they knew how to make their presence known. He'd been a cricket once; small and insignificant. He didn't feel that way anymore.

Across from him, Carol rolled over and pushed her blanket off herself. Glenn watched in silence as she crossed the space between her and Daryl. He rubbed Maggie's arm and whispered in her ear, "Mags."

Maggie's head raised and they watched together as Carol lowered herself to the ground next to Daryl.

"Alright?" They heard Carol ask Daryl. He grunted and she moved his blanket back, nestling into his arms. Glenn could practically feel Maggie grinning.

* * *

><p>The foursome sat around the fire Glenn had built, roasting the small game Daryl had hunted at sunrise. No one had brought up the fact that Carol had climbed into Daryl's bedroll in the middle of the night. They all carried on as though nothing had happened. Carol was thankful. She knew Glenn had seen her. That meant Maggie knew, too. Carol and Daryl had woken up in the morning, one of them waking the other as they awoke, wrapped up in one another. Carol's head had been on Daryl's chest, his arm around her shoulders. Their legs had been draped together with Carol's leg drawn up over his thigh. They hadn't said anything when they woke up. Instead, they just laid together. Eventually, Carol moved, resting her head on his arm so she could see him better.<p>

Daryl had watched her, searching her face. Her eyes stared into his like they were looking for something, but he didn't know what. He knew what he was looking for in hers.

After awhile, Carol shifted in his arms and pulled him more onto his side so they were laying with their bodies pressed together. Her eyes had trailed down from his and he'd felt her fingertips move slowly down the side of his face, finally stopping at the base of his neck. She had leaned forward and Daryl had felt himself wanting to move back out of reflex. Instead, he'd stayed still, not even breathing.

Finally, Carol had grazed her lips over his skin, beyond the point of thinking clearly. All she'd been able to see was that patch of skin pulled taut over his collarbone, begging to be kissed. Daryl's fingertips had dug into her hip and Carol kissed again, her tongue moving against his salty skin for just a second. She had been very much aware that it was possible to push him too far. Daryl didn't do intimacy. He didn't do this kind of closeness. Closeness for Daryl was occupying the same space in silence. Well, they'd done that long enough.

Sitting around the fire, Carol stole a glance at Daryl. Head down, eyes fixed intently on the food he was tearing apart with his fingers, Daryl felt her eyes on him. Wasn't hard to. Woman had been sneaking glances at him all morning. Only time he'd been able to avoid her eyes was when he'd been out hunting. He didn't know how to handle himself. He didn't know how to handle her. She'd crawled into his arms and brought him warmth and comfort and the ability to sleep without dreams. Then she'd brought him a raging hard on, a red face, and a twisted tongue.

_Tongue_, he thought and remembered Carol's tongue grazing his neck. This time, he couldn't resist looking up at her. Their eyes met and Carol's cheeks turned red. They were thinking the same thing.

"Should get movin'," Daryl said and stood up, kicking dirt onto the fire. "Wastin' sunlight."

* * *

><p>"This is it?" Maggie asked, looking up at the building in front of them. Daryl grunted, nodding up at it.<p>

Maggie and Glenn moved forward, wanting to check out the last place Beth had been seen alive and well. Daryl couldn't bring himself to go in. He didn't want to remember; couldn't allow himself to remember her like that in case…

"We'll find her," Carol said, interrupting his thoughts. Daryl nodded and leaned against the light pole nearest them.

"Can't keep losin' people. That lil' girl was my responsibility. Told her I'd keep her safe. Shoulda done somethin'."

"You did what you could, Daryl. Tracked her for nearly two days. Nearly ran yourself to death. What more do you think you could have done?"

"Somethin'! Anything!"

Carol sighed. She knew he'd blame himself forever if they didn't get her back safe and sound. He'd made himself into some sort of tragic hero and while most women would swoon over that, Carol hated it. It took him to a dark place she often couldn't bring him back from.

"You remember when we found Sophia?"

Carol's voice faltered on Sophia's name, but she held her head high, refusing to feel that hurt all over again. Daryl looked up at her and didn't need to answer for Carol to know he did.

"I nearly died that day. A large part of me did, but… I thought about it. About dying with her. Wasn't anything left to live for. The only thing that kept me from doing something stupid was knowing you felt that pain too. I wasn't alone with it. You gave me something else to throw myself into and focus on. Taught me how to be strong and how to survive. Taught me to want to survive. So maybe, even though we've lost people and we'll lose more, it doesn't matter that you couldn't keep everyone from dying because you brought someone already dead back to life."

"Did that yourself. Always were stronger than you knew, just had dead weight around your neck draggin' you down and makin' you weak."

"Call it what you'd like; I'm telling you what I know and that's that I wouldn't have had anything to live for without you."

Daryl stared at her for a moment before letting his eyes leave hers. He stared at her boots. They were scuffed and the toe on the left one was coming apart.

"Makes two of us then." He said, finally. "Nothin' to live for if you ain't with me."

Daryl felt his cheeks get hot and cursed himself for telling her something so intimate.

"You're blushing, Pookie. Been doing a lot of that today."

"Shut up," he replied and put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her against his side. They stood together until Maggie and Glenn came back out. Maggie's face was pale and Glenn wouldn't meet his eyes. They walked past Daryl and Carol, getting in the car.

"Show me," Maggie said before closing the door.

* * *

><p>They drove until Daryl no longer recognized the scenery.<p>

"Followed the tracks as far as I could. Kept running until I couldn't no more. They must've turned off around here somewhere, but I dunno where."

Silence fell upon the car and Carol fixed her eyes out the passenger window. She could feel the weight of Daryl's guilt settle on her. It was in his voice, his posture, the way he avoided looking at her. She imagined him on the road by himself, running for hours on end – madness keeping him going. They'd passed downed Walkers on the drive and Carol had eventually given up count. He could have been overwhelmed on his own; maybe it was his rage, hurt, and pure desperation that kept him alive.

Maggie threw open the back door and got out, Glenn following close behind. Carol watched as Maggie began walking, looking frantically for a trail or something that would lead her to her sister. Eventually, Glenn wrapped his arms around her from behind, holding her while she attempted to pull away, crying and yelling at him.

"Should have kept her safe!" Daryl and Carol heard Maggie's voice through the open doors. "Of all of us, she should have been safe with him! Why?! Why did it have to be her? Why couldn't he keep her safe!"

"Shhh," Glenn kept saying over and over, glancing up sadly at Carol.

Daryl hung his head in the seat next to Carol. When she reached over and put her hand on his, he flinched and pulled away. Suddenly, his hand flew up, hitting the steering wheel over and over, occasionally causing the horn to sound. Maggie and Glenn stopped moving and looked up at the scene in front of them. Daryl raged on, throwing the door open. He got out and went to work on the side of the car, punching and kicking, a guttural sound escaping his throat between hits.

Carol knew better than to come up behind him and try to stop him. Instead, she approached from the side and hooked her arm through his, pulling it away from the car before he could land another blow. He shrugged her off easily, but she hooked him again. Daryl kept kicking, throwing her off a few more times until he gave up and allowed her to still his arm. They could hear Glenn yelling Daryl's name and Carol looked up to see him take down a Walker that had come out of the tree line, lured by the noise.

"Gotta stop this now," Carol said softly, but firmly. "It's not going to do any good and you're just bringing them to us. You want to rage, rage. But you can't do it here, not like this. We need to get moving before more of them come."

Daryl sunk to the ground, leaning his back against the car. His knuckles were torn and bleeding, a piece of skin had completely peeled away from his knuckle, leaving a couple inches of hanging skin. He held his hand out in front of him and stared at it. Slowly, the imaged morphed in his head and suddenly he was seeing Beth, bloodied, cuts across her face, shoulders, and arms. Her hair tinged with blood and her clothes ripped, torn, and bloodied. He closed his eyes, hearing Carol, Glenn, and Maggie taking down Walkers.

Small, cool fingers wrapped around his wrists and pulled his hands from his eyes. Beth knelt in front of him, her eyes wide, tired, and bloodshot. Her face and neck were covered in dried blood, a gash on her cheek bright red and angry. The other welts and lacerations weren't as deep, but Daryl slowly began to realize the image of her he saw in his head, was actually Beth coming out of the tree line.

He stared at her for a moment and then suddenly she was in his lap, arms around his neck, crying hysterically. He felt his own tears – had they come before or after he'd seen her? – and he clung to her.

"Oh, my God," he heard Maggie scream and suddenly Beth was pulled from his arms. He watched as the sisters held each other, sobbing together as Glenn and Carol killed the occasional Walker that staggered out of the trees.

Eventually, only silence filled the air. Beth and Maggie sat in the middle of the road, their arms still around one another as Glenn and Carol stood over them. Daryl hadn't moved away from the car yet.

"How?" he finally heard himself ask.

Slowly, the sisters pulled apart and all eyes were on Beth. Daryl saw for the first time that both of her wrists were bandaged, as well as the back of her left hand.

"Got away yesterday. Been walking back toward where I thought you might be, where they'd taken me from, but I kept hearing their car. I've been moving through the forest during the day. Last night I found a place to rest that was hidden, but a Walker kept coming around, so I finally had to leave there too. I heard you… Heard Maggie first. Thought it was dehydration setting in. Then I heard a car horn and I heard you, Daryl. Heard you…"

"If they're looking for her, we need to get moving." Glenn had Maggie under the arm and was pulling her to her feet as Carol did the same with Beth, guiding them both to the car. Glenn guided Maggie into the car, but before Beth got in, she came to stand in front of Daryl, her hand outstretched to him. He took it and got up, not using her for help. Girl didn't look like she'd be able to stand much longer, much less haul him to his feet.

"I told you you'd miss me, Daryl Dixon."

Daryl smirked, despite his pain – physical and emotional – and put his hand on the back of her head, pulling her against his chest.

Carol watched for a moment and then got in the driver's seat, wiping Daryl's blood off the steering wheel with her shirt.

"Let's go."


End file.
